Kristin Offiler: On Demystifying the Writer’s Life Online, Reverse-Engineering a Thriller, New England Summers, and Her Debut Novel ‘The Housewarming’

The greatest joys in creating Write or Die Magazine have been the online connections I’ve made with other writers. One of those cherished relationships is with Kristin Offiler. I don’t remember the exact order of when we slide into each other’s DMs on Instagram, but I do know that over the years Kristin has stood out in my mind as not only an OG Write or Die fan but a writer friend who cares so deeply about this writing life. And who has used her enthusiasm to help other writers along the way. 

What first drew me to Kristin was her transparency. She’s always been forthright about the realities of revising her novel, finding an agent, and how the process actually went—the rejections, the sheer number of queries, the many rounds of edits. As we talk about in this interview, social media can feel like a highlight reel, and it’s rare to find someone who’s willing to share the full picture. But Kristin’s generosity goes beyond honesty about her own journey. She’s a champion for others—constantly cheering writers on, posting about the books she loves, and making genuine connections with fellow authors, like myself, who are in the thick of building this writing life. 

In her captivating debut novel The Housewarming (Thomas & Mercer, 2025), we meet four women reckoning with a shared history and long-held secrets, five years after the mysterious disappearance of their friend Zoe. Set against the backdrop of a New England summer on Block Island, Kristin grounds us in suspense while exploring the tender, layered complexities of female friendship. With intimacy and care, she captures what makes these relationships so cherished—and so haunting.

In our conversation below, Kristin and I talk about how she landed her book deal for The Housewarming, what it was like to revise her novel into a suspense-driven story, being New England girlies, and why showing up for others is just as important as showing up for yourself.

Kailey Brennan DelloRusso: How does it feel to have a book coming out in the world? How are you doing, knowing that date is approaching and you finally have the book in your hands? 

Kristin Offiler: It’s so cool. It was chosen for Amazon First Reads for the month of July, so readers are already reading it ahead of the publication of the paperback and audiobook. So it sort of feels like a mini launch. I’m getting messages on Instagram from people I don’t know. People I know have read it and shared their thoughts with me, which has been great. And then in the back of my head, I’m like, “You’re just being nice because you’re my friend.” But now strangers are saying, “I read it in a day,” or, “I couldn’t put it down,” and I’m like, oh my God, real people that I don’t know are reading it. It’s surreal. It’s exciting. It feels like such a long time coming, and I’m just enjoying it so much right now.  

KBD: Amazing. You shared the process of writing this book online for so long, and now it’s finally being published. I would love to know why—what inspired you, or what motivated you to share that part of yourself and your process on social media? How did it inform your process, or what did you gain from doing this? 

KO: I think it really came out of when I finished my MFA program—just feeling disconnected from a writing community. I really loved being with other writers. It was a low-residency program, so I was with people for a week at a time, twice a year. So it wasn’t even all the time, like a traditional program. But even those week-long residencies would energize me, and fuel me. I love talking to other writers about writing, hearing how other people’s process works.

When the program ended, I was like, “What now?” I tried to make some in-person writing groups locally where I live, and those fell apart quickly. Then I found some online writing classes and connected with writers. Some of my closest friends now are in Canada or Texas—far away from me. But it was like, oh, you can find people online. They’re on Instagram. There’s a writing community. There are other writers on there, and I want to talk to them. Just because they’re not in my town doesn’t mean I can’t connect. 

I love hearing how other people write, so I figured, I’ll just share—because that’s what I like to see from others too. I had a blog for a while before the pandemic, and then I just was burnt out trying to keep up with a writing blog. But sharing the process and meeting people—it’s been a cool way to connect. That’s how I found you, which has been amazing.

Really, some of my closest writing friends have come through social media or the internet and just being open to sharing your process. Writing is such a lonely thing—just sitting in your own office or room or wherever by yourself. So when you have the chance to put out feelers and be like, “Hello? Who else is out there?” it’s really nice. 

KBD: And it was really an extra special thing to read your book, having followed your journey on Instagram. Like you said, that’s how we met. We’ve talked about querying, agents and all the book writing things. And then to have your book in my hands—I just felt more connected to you as a writer, having seen your process and heard you talk honestly about it.

That’s one of the things I really love about you—how honest you are. Because I think there are a lot of people out there who share stuff, but sometimes it also feels like they’re not sharing everything, or they’re skipping steps. And those are the things where you’re like, “But I need to know that. I want to know that.”

I remember when I got my agent, I was going to say something about her in my newsletter. I texted you and was like, “Should I say her name? Is that supposed to be secret?” And you were like, “Mine’s in my bio. I worked to find this agent.” And I was like, “Oh my God, I love that.” I love how open you’ve been online about everything.  

KO: It’s such an opaque industry. When you’re trying to break into it, you’re querying, you're just trying to get your foot in the door, so much of it is shrouded in mystery. It’s like, “Is this okay to do? Is it okay to follow up with this person? Is it too soon?” We need to be talking about it more. We all need to be sharing our experiences—the good and the bad.

The other thing, too, is that we all know social media is a highlight reel. But the process of publishing is not always a highlight reel. It’s not all sunshine. There are things that are confusing, or you bump into something and think, “Am I the only one experiencing this?”

I queried with my critique partner, Lindsay. We did it at the same time, and it saved our sanity. We say this all the time—how doing it together made such a difference. We had both tried querying other books previously, alone, and stopped because it was confusing and difficult and scary. But then, doing it together, we’d send each other the emails we were getting, or rant, or celebrate. Having other people that you can share those things with, and being able to say, “Is this weird?” “Oh no, you’re having the same experience,” or, “It’s taking just as long,” or, “The silence doesn’t mean nobody is ever going to want this.” It’s a common experience.

When you share what the experience really is, you give other people comfort, and you give them the confidence to keep going.

I hate when I hear that someone did a handful of queries and then stopped because it seemed like nobody wanted their book. And it’s like, oh no—keep going! If you hit a hundred, then you’re doing great. Just keep it up. That sounds like an insane number, but the first time I queried, I had no concept of how many people I should be querying. I think I did like ten or fifteen. I didn’t hear back or got a couple rejections, and I was like, “That’s scary and really bad and my book must be terrible.”

The second time around, we were doing it together, and I was like, “All right, we’re both going to hit a hundred—look at us go! [laughs] We’re not going to stop.” That’s part of sharing and being honest—making it more accessible for other people who are coming up behind you, who haven’t done this before. 

KBD: Definitely. Do you have any tips that you’ve learned through sharing—like, maybe on Instagram specifically? It could be a platform tip, or just a tip in general for those who want to share their process and maybe feel shy, or feel like, “Why would anyone care what I’m doing?”

KO: I think people care what other people are doing. That’s the biggest thing. Right now, I’m feeling like I’m just shouting about myself and my book so much, and it’s uncomfortable. [laughs] But you get it. I’ve spent a lot of time also shouting out other people and celebrating other people, and being genuinely excited for them and their milestones.

I think that’s the best tip I can give you. That’s how you build genuine connections, and then it’ll come back around for you—that support—when it’s your turn. When you spend time engaging with other people’s content, reading their books, sharing about their books, celebrating when people post their book deal announcements, or when they share something big that’s happened—even just finishing a draft—be excited for people.

You can expect that those people will want to be excited for you, too. That’s how you build genuine community. That’s my best tip: just spread it around. Be happy for other people. Celebrate.

I think sometimes people worry that there’s a limited amount of resources or something. Like, if somebody gets a book deal, it means you’re not getting a book deal. If somebody gets an agent, it means you’re not getting an agent. But no. Be excited for them, because it gives you evidence that it can happen for you too. And it feels better to just be excited and celebrate other people than to be like, “Oh, why not me?” But that’s a very valid feeling too. We’ve all felt that. I’m not saying don’t feel that, or that this is some kind of toxic positivity or anything, but that’s a tip for sure—just cheer people on. 

KBD: I agree. I love that.

KO: You’re so good at it, too. [laughs] Your whole platform, I feel like, is just highlighting other people and their wins and celebrating. I love that. 

KBD: Well, like you said, social media is pretty negative. And we know how hard writing is. Especially in this context—we’re talking about novels—but anything. It takes so, so long. Even just something like finishing a draft, like a first draft—that’s huge. It takes a lot to do these things. So it’s like, yeah, why not share, and then why not celebrate other people who are doing it too? Like you just said, it feels better to have that energy than anything else.

KO: Yeah, definitely. Totally agree. 

KBD: I would love to discuss female friendships, as that is the central focus of your book. I loved how each chapter was from the point of view of a different character. I thought you did such a great job of differentiating them and really immersing us in their friendship—which had its ups and downs and its secrets.

I’d love to know: what do female friendships mean to you in your life? And what were some of the joys and challenges of writing those dynamics?

KO: Oh, I just love female friendship so much. I had a really strong group of friends in high school and through college, and I’m still really close with a couple of them. When I started writing this, I was a new mom. I had a one-year-old, and I had put the other book I was working on aside, and I was like, “What do I want to write about?” 

At that point in my life, I was thinking a lot about how to maintain long-term friendships—especially the ones you really want to keep nourishing—when you’re in your thirties. Life gets more difficult. I think back to my high school and college years with my friends—we were together all the time. In the summer, we were at the beach every day. We were at each other’s houses every night. It wasn’t even a question of “When are you free?” It was like, I know your schedule, you know mine, we’re just together. And I loved that. 

But when you hit your thirties, it’s like, “Oh my God, I have a kid, I have a job, I’m married, I have a life.” We’re all busy. To schedule time together, it's like, “Are you free in the next three months?” You stay in touch however you can, but I was thinking about it a lot, and I was like, I’m going to write about this. Because I’m not sure any of us really know how to do it—but I know these friendships are important. Especially the people who have seen you through different phases of your life, who’ve been there for the big moments, the hard moments—they become like family. I was really excited to write about that.

So my first draft had no missing person, no real dilemma. It was just the four characters whose POVs you see in the story, and it was them trying to figure out how to stay connected. And it was not very good. [laughs] It needed so many revisions to get where it is now.

It was just something I was thinking about a lot—what happens when you bring marriage and kids and work into the mix, when a decade ago we were hanging out every spare second we had? Now it’s more complicated.

[The definition of female friendship to me is] just showing up—even though it’s difficult, even though you have to finagle your schedule a bit—just being there. I was like, okay, this is it. This is why I wrote it. Because I have such wonderful friends who do things like that. And it’s a little thing, but at this point in our lives, when it’s hard to spend time together in person, those things really matter. They mean a lot.  

KBD: There really is nothing like it. And I think people who’ve experienced it—especially for as many years as you were saying—know how special that is. It’s such a unique privilege. Not everyone has friends like that for so long.

I love that you wanted to write about it, and that exploring it led to this book. It sounds like the joy of writing it was reminiscing about that time. But I’d imagine writing four different POVs of four different women and also this friendship dynamic was a challenge. 

KO: Oh my God. The first draft was four first-person POVs, and they all sounded the same. [laughs] My writing group was like, “Okay... maybe this should be third person.”

So that was a challenge—just making sure that even in third person, they sounded distinct. It took a long time. I had to identify: what is it about each of them that is sort of distinct, so they’re not confusing when you’re reading? So you know when you’re reading the new mom’s perspective, you know when you’re reading the alcoholic’s perspective, you know you’re reading the rich friend’s perspective. You know whose head you’re in, because their experience is somehow unique.

In early drafts—when I was doing a class with Chelsea Bieker, actually, a Catapult class [around] four years ago now—one of the comments I got from classmates was that they were all having the same kind of reaction to Zoe’s disappearance. So I thought, okay, that’s one way to differentiate them too—how [all four women] relate to that experience.

It was a lot of trial and error. A lot of revision and refining. You want them to be unique and distinct and not sound the same or think the same, because otherwise, why have four different perspectives, you know?

The only reason I did four POVs was because I had just finished a book that was sort of historical, one POV, and I was like, “All right, I’m gonna write about friends. I’m gonna do multiple POVs. I’m just going for it.” Just to cleanse the palate.

But I was like, wow—I am not equipped to write four POVs. So it just took me so long to figure out how to do it.

KBD: As the reader now, it definitely comes off a lot more effortless, which I know no draft ever is. But you did a great job. I always knew who I was with. I wouldn’t have even needed the chapter headings.

KO: Good to know. [laughs] Thank you. 

KBD: I would say too, that another character in your book is the setting. I know Block Island means a lot to you. You live in Rhode Island, and New England is such a specific setting. I’d love to hear you talk about the process of getting into this setting—what felt important, and how you built that world. You did it so well. I was really there.

KO: Thank you. I love writing setting. I think before I was even conscious of it, when I had a writing group right after my MFA program and we would workshop short stories, they would always say that—“The setting! It's like another character.” Then I became conscious of it, and I was like, okay, I really like writing setting. How can it inform the story? 

In this case, I liked the opposing element of a summery, carefree beach location with the disappearance and this group of friends, but it’s set against a backdrop of hydrangeas, the ocean, the beach, and tourists, all against a summertime setting. And summer in New England is... [laughs] we wait for it all year long. So we really go hard and appreciate every warm, sunny day. But at the same time, there’s this mystery and a missing person.

And I just love Block Island. I used to go there every summer for day trips, for weekend trips. It’s so easy to get to from here, but you feel like you’re far away—it’s a special little place. I’ve never been to Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard, but I feel like Block Island is probably similar, but different. It’s very small. There’s a really tiny year-round community that stays there all four seasons, and that also intrigues me.

If you have this true crime kind of explosion in a tiny town—and not just a tiny town, but an island, where there’s water around you—you’re stuck there. What does that do to the people who have to live there all year round? There are rumors and sleuths and people pegging locals as possible suspects. What does that do to the community?

And it’s just naturally beautiful. The bluffs—the staircase on the cover—that place is stunning. It’s breathtaking. You don’t feel like you’re in New England. It feels otherworldly.

So it was partly my love for a place and my desire to include it. I think I’ll always write about New England. It’s what I know. But also, I thought: this would be cool, because if someone disappears off an island, there are only so many possibilities. Either they got on the ferry and left, or they didn’t. They didn’t just walk away. That was also really intriguing to me.

KBD: I would love to talk to you too about writing a book with a twist. This is probably just me being such a big mystery/thriller fan—I love reading those—so I’m so intrigued by the process of writing one. And you mentioned that the early draft didn’t have a twist. So I would love to know your process for finding that twist, slowly revealing things, not revealing things, leaving behind clues. It sounds like a fun challenge, but I can imagine it was very challenging at times too.

KO: Such a challenge. When I queried it, I queried it as upmarket fiction. And I was getting feedback from agents saying it felt more like a thriller since it had the missing person. I had been really focused on the effect of ambiguous loss with this group of friends. But when I signed with my agent, one of the first things we talked about was leaning it into suspense or thriller—maybe like 20%. And I went way overboard.

That summer I was just reading every thriller I could get my hands on. I was trying to figure out how to give it a satisfying twist after the book was already written—not from the outset. I feel like it’s easier if you’re seeding the clues and threads from the beginning. So it was sort of like reverse-engineering, and also not intentional. Since I didn’t set out to write a twist, I had to figure out: what would a satisfying twist be? 

The twist—without giving spoilers—was sort of originally there, but it wasn’t as seeded throughout as it needed to be for that genre. So one of the things we did in revision was figure out the right way for the reveal to happen.

I had a few versions that were really over-complicated. I threw everything at it at first. And then it was like, okay, this is too much—too many pieces that have to work just right. We pared back a lot and I found that in simplifying, it became a more satisfying twist and reveal. We worked to camouflage it better. In later drafts—especially during the editing phase with my publisher—we pulled out things that were highlighting clues too much and made them more subtle.

That was a big part of the developmental editing phase. My editor would say, “This still feels a little too obvious. What if we took out this whole subplot?” And I’d be like, “Yeah, we don’t even need that.” It was just kind of shining a light on something we wanted to keep more hidden.

So it was pass after pass, thinking from a reader’s perspective. Because readers are so smart—especially readers of suspense and thrillers. They’re looking for the clues. You want them to be surprised, but not in a way that feels unearned or like it came out of nowhere. But you also don’t want it to be so obvious that they’re like, “I figured it out.”

I was just reading something recently where I figured out the twist kind of halfway through. I wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure. And I think it’s because my brain is just trained now—I’m reading a lot in the genre, and I’m seeing how it’s done. But that’s how readers get. If something’s a little too obvious, they’re going to catch it.

So it was a process of making sure things were concealed enough. That there were enough, “Look over here. No, look over here.” Enough people in the mix that you’re never quite sure.

KBD: As the reader, I really didn’t know. And there was one part, towards the middle, where I was like, “Oh! I’m in now.” I didn’t expect it. So yeah, you did a great job.

And the whole time I was reading it I was like, “I need to talk to her about this.” [laughs] Because you know when you enjoy reading stuff like that but you’ve never tried to write it? I just think it’s such a cool creative challenge—especially hearing about how the book changed, and how you kind of shifted into a different genre.

When your agent first said that about the genre, were you super excited? Or were you a little nervous about it? What were you feeling?

KO: So I had five offers of rep. And four of the agents said, “This is not the right genre for this book.” And the first one who said it, I was like, “She just doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get my vision.” [laughs] But then when three other people said the same thing, I was like, “Oh, they’re obviously onto something.”

So I talked to the agent I signed with, and her vision was just 20% more suspense. She didn’t want to lose the heart of the story. She really liked the female friendship element. She liked a lot of what was there originally and didn’t want to lose that. She was sort of my guiding light. I’d give her a revision and she’d say, “Okay, I feel like we’re getting away from the original heart of the story,” and she’d pull me back a bit. That was really nice. She had a good grasp on what the story was and how we could push it.

It was really about balancing when you reveal things, and what you reveal. And for me, it was a process of learning how to do that well. 

Thinking back on the process, it’s amazing that I did that because I didn’t read a lot in the genre. I was a little nervous. I remember telling her on our first phone call, I can try this, but I can’t promise you I can do it. I feel like people who write in this genre know what they’re doing and they know their plot—or at least like the main points of it—before they start writing. And so you’re asking me to dismantle it and put it back together and have it still make sense. I don’t know if that’s possible. But it was—it just took forever.  

KBD: I’m super curious what you are working on now. Will you write something else in this genre or go in a different direction? 

KO: So pro tip—when you’re querying, write something else. That’s the best thing you can do. I wrote a draft of another novel while I was querying, also set in New England. But because I need to change gears every draft—every book, I guess—I was like, “We’re going to Vermont and it’s gonna be the dead of winter.” [laughs] 

I wrote this [other] book and it had sort of a past-lifey, channeling-the-dead, culty kind of vibe—deep winter, remote farmhouse. But I didn’t know at that point that I was going to like writing suspense. This was before getting an agent and before rewriting The Housewarming. Once I signed with the agent and we did all the revisions, I stayed away from that book for a while—not on purpose, but because The Housewarming became everything I was doing.

Earlier this year, when I finally finished all the edits on The Housewarming, I went back to that book. I still really like it, but I was struggling to get back into it. I feel like my brain got rewired over the past few years. I started to realize, “Okay, yeah—I like suspense,” and I wasn’t aware I was doing it in those early drafts. Now I am, and now I’m seeing things like, “Okay, that can’t be there.” I moved a midpoint scene to the first quarter and thought, “That needs to be here. We need to pull things back a bit.” But I was getting bogged down, thinking it might need a total reimagining—with the brain I’m working with now, which is different from the brain I had back then.

And then I had this other idea that’s been noodling in the back of my head. I worked on it for a couple of weeks earlier in June. I said, “Let me just spend two weeks. I’ll do Jami Attenberg’s 1,000 Words of Summer—keep it low stakes—and see if anything’s there.” And it was really exciting. I really liked it, and now I’ll be writing it from a place of knowing it’s suspense, knowing there’s a twist and a reveal—not coming at it from the other direction.

[I’m working on another one] also set in Rhode Island, in the summer, and I’m like—maybe that’s kind of my vibe. We’ll save the Vermont winter book for later. I do really like it, but summer is my favorite time of year. If this next one comes out in the summer, it could really appeal to people who want a summery beach read with a bit of mystery or suspense.

It also is fun because I’m playing with Laguna Beach nostalgia. If you ever watched that—or The Hills—way back in the early 2000s, I’m playing with, “What if there was an East Coast version, but for some reason it never aired?” And now, secrets are resurfacing twenty years later.

KBD: Ooh, I love that.

KO: We’re both such nostalgia people. The nostalgia will always be in my books. I’m such a Pisces.

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Kristin Offiler holds an MFA from Lesley University. Her short fiction has appeared in the Raleigh Review, Waccamaw Journal, The Bookends Review, and The Bookends Review Best of 2020 print anthology. When she’s not writing, she can be found reading on the porch of her 130-year-old house or exploring charming corners of New England. She lives in Rhode Island with her husband, son, and dog.