Some Kind of Disaster: Writing Your Real Trauma in Your Fiction
Often one of the most frequent pieces of writing advice we hear is “Write what you know”. This can be taken at face value, using your own personal knowledge and experiences. Most of the time writers will take this knowledge and apply it to the character’s profession or the place that they live. Sometimes our writing becomes a reflection of the things we keep deep inside of us. A way to safely put pieces of our struggles and trauma into words. I personally know this can be hard, it can also be worth it. The literal tears you shed, the moments you have to step away when a scene hits a little too close to home will make that story have more heart than anything you’d write without personal knowledge.
When I first put my fingers to the keyboard for “Some Kind Of Disaster” I was desperate for an outlet. I had two other stories in the works both over halfway done but my brain screamed for something more. I didn’t really have a plot only a person in my head, Abigail. A 17-year-old with secrets hid behind a smile and quirky clothes. Unlike me though Abigail had a perfect life, but all the same struggles as me. Maybe I did think my life was perfect after all it was the only life I knew and I had no other means of comparison. Even still knowing now my life wasn’t rainbows and sunshine I still felt the need to give Abigail that because at the end of the day your life can have many things right in it. A supportive family, amazing friends, a bright future, mental illness doesn’t discriminate. I have no idea how long Abigail’s story will be. I'm not even sure of the fine details, I’ve never pantsed something like this before. Yet I feel like I already know the story.
Writing this story has been hard, I’ve had to collect myself after I’ve written about certain things. It’s like looking in a mirror at times. I do not regret it in the least. Putting this much of myself into my writing may very well help me and possibly some else. There are still many things that are taboo to write about. I’ve read books that had the subject of mental illness but it was the tip of the iceberg, you didn’t see the really hard stuff. For Abigail, I wanted to as Papa Roach put it “Tear my heart open”. I believe that just as music can save a person’s life, books can too. We are often afraid to show people the true depths of something like mental illness because of the stereotypes that surround it. There is a person behind it all, and unless we give a glimpse how will we break those stereotypes. How will others know they are not alone?
I often wonder if I had come across an author who dared to write candidly about the things I struggle with if I would have somehow recognized myself in those words and got help before having a breakdown. I know that is a big what if scenario, I still can’t help but wonder if it would have changed things. Which is one of the big reasons I dare to write “Some Kind Of Disaster”. Not only for myself but maybe for another 17 years old who doesn’t understand the things going on inside their head, that is scared to say anything. I do not claim to know everything there is to know about my diagnosis, if I’m being honest I am simply trying to take one day at a time and navigate it all the best way I know how. Which is the way I want to portray Abigail. One of the scariest things especially in the beginning is not knowing anything about what is going on with you. And for someone who may be struggling, seeing themselves in a book character might give them at least enough comfort to know that they are seen and understood. Perhaps enough that they will reach out for help.
In the words of one of my favorite bands “The first step in the one you believe in, The second one might be profound”. I took my first step with “Some Kind Of Disaster”. I hope it will encourage someone to take theirs.
About Nena Orcutt
Nena Orcutt is an aspiring author, who thinks too much, Listens to a lot of music. Needs coffee to function. Who thinks Bukowski was a wise man and Hemingway was a genius. And feels romance isn’t dead. She is working on her debut novel “The Crow and The Butterfly” Making her home in Music City she’s ready to conquer the writing world and leave her mark.
