How to Handle Rejection as a Writer

Feb 16

Writing rejection is specific– it isn’t like not getting a promotion. Or being dumped. It isn’t technically supposed to ever be personal but it can certainly feel that way. Yet dealing with rejection in a practical way lacks the same dialogue. No one writes a book about getting writing rejections.

I received a rejection recently, arguably more difficult than other rejections because an editor gave me feedback and asked for a revision, but rejected the new draft; I’d let my hopes reach greater heights than usual. I didn’t do anything about it, really, besides briefly sad-venting to a friend over text. It was the first time this had happened, and I’m ultimately grateful for the push this editor gave me to revise it further. After receiving the news, I sat with the rejection for almost two weeks, quietly even to myself, moping.

While not all writers make the choice to embark on a life of endlessly rereading submission guidelines to share their work, many of us do. And it’s a giant pressure and time commitment on top of all the other pressures writers face: To be constantly creating, to be involved in ones writing community, to be reading and studying one’s genre. To top it off, race, gender and the content of our work, all play a part in how easily we will reach our audiences. Just to have our work read by others can feel like an impossible barrier to one of the most exciting parts of the creative process.

At the same time I received that rejection, I realized I had no way of dealing with rejection in my own writer’s toolkit. I had self-care activities ready to go for my less inspiring, (depressed) days, but nothing to do with the specificity of a writing rejection. I realized that in all the workshops I’d been in, no one had bothered to really discuss it, albeit it is a constant and inevitable part of the writing process.

Reaching out on the web, I received many creative responses from other writers at various career stages on how they incorporate practical ways of dealing with rejection into their personal writing practice, without scrolling inspiring quotes or “romanticized” rejection narratives online.

The same day you receive a rejection, submit again: this is one way to immediately cut the onset of rejections’ negative associations and turn it into motivation.

Keep a spreadsheet: keep track of which lit mags you submit to and when. This helps in staying organized but it also allows you to prepare yourself by writing 3-5 other lit mags in your spreadsheet where you can re-submit the work in case of rejection.

Say it out loud, share it on social media. Say out loud, “today I was rejected,” or “today my poem/ story was rejected.” It’s one way to center ourselves when the voice of imposter syndrome or feelings of “failure” show up. Post an Instagram picture of all the rejections a story or poem has received (even if it still hasn’t been accepted!) because it helps demystify the idea that rejection only happens to a select few. Like, just you.

Create a list of self-soothing rituals to keep in your writing space; this list should be specific, a list of things or activities that calm or center you. When you receive a rejection email, simply refer to your list and do whatever is most convenient and comforting to you at the moment. Here are some from my own list, but these rituals can take many forms.

-take a bath

-pet the cat

-call Anna (friend)

Watch a documentary about a writer, or listen to a fun podcast about writing. I love Longform the most, but there are so many to choose from. Create a personal, specific list of accessible art that inspires you to write, and keep it in your writing space to refer to when dealing with rejection. Podcasts, documentaries, books, or art/artists that have boosted your creativity.

Reach out to a writing friend and commiserate. Ultimately, it’s okay to be bummed or frustrated, and who will understand our experience more than our fellow writers?

Remember, we’re all getting rejected, all the time. We’re all in this together. Rejection can feel personal and isolating, but it doesn’t have to.

Do you feel alone in your writing practice? Have always wanted to write a book but haven’t started yet? Do you thrive under accountability? Or live in a part of the world without literary inspiration or support?

Our mentorship program might be just what you need! With three different options catered to support your individual and creative goals, now is the perfect time to take your writing seriously and work with another writer who seeks to help you grow.