The Life of a Writer As Told by Lily King in "Writers & Lovers"
“You know, I just find it extraordinary that you think you have something to say.” (2)
It was this line. It resonated with my writer’s soul. Lily King’s new novel, Writers & Lovers, follows Casey Peabody, an aspiring writer, as she navigates the waters of finishing the novel she has been writing for six years, coming to terms with the loss of her mother, understanding love, and crushing student loan debt she can’t seem to escape. It is a wry, sometimes achingly sad, love letter to writers. I saw so much of my own writing journey laid bare on the pages. The early death of a parent, the service industry job, the teaching job, the writing always there, pulsing...all of it felt personal.
In an interview with GrubStreet’s Janet Rich Edwards, King talked about her experience as a writer as inspiration for Writers & Lovers, “Anytime I do a workshop, the biggest obstacle is the self doubt, the should I even be considering this? That was a big impulse for this book, to try to explain to people that this doubt is so real and so pervasive, and you have to ignore it, you just have to push through it...I had the same confusion, panic, terrible fear, self doubt, self loathing, wondering where the hell my life was going, because I’d closed so many doors and I didn’t know how I was ever, ever going to support myself or have a stable relationship or children. It just all felt like everyone had become older and I was just stuck in the same place.”
There is a lot of wisdom to be gleaned from the pages of this novel. Here is some that stuck with me.
“You’re a gambler. You gambled. You bet the farm. Your success or failure are not based on what happens with that pile of papers.” (300)
Success cannot be measured on whether you publish or not. Success is that you took a chance on yourself. You believed in yourself enough to not sacrifice your dreams and desires. You did not give in to a corporate job with security and health insurance. You took jobs that kept you fed and sheltered, but you also took jobs that allowed you the space and time to commit to your craft, to creating a writing life.
Casey eventually takes a job teaching at an unconventional magnet school. She is given the space to teach the classes the way she wants, to help students engage with literature and find their own voices rather than the usual Englishy objectives that close literature off to students. She realizes though, she must still carve out time for her writing. She wakes up early every day to give herself an hour and a half of writing before work. As a writer you find your own rhythm. Some like mornings, others work days and find comfort in curling up with their words in the evening. I need to walk a few miles on the beach near my home to clear my head for the work of writing. Every writer has to eat. Jobs are a fact of life. But, maintaining the routines and mindset of a writing life is necessary as well. The only way to be a writer is to write.
“She seems pained by all the compliments Muriel’s colleagues are giving her. Success rests more easily on men.” (69)
As a woman writer I feel this. If you look at the percentage of women published in literary magazines, novels, and occupying positions of tenured professors of writing at universities, it is disheartening. King explores this issue twice in the novel. The first comes with Adam, Casey’s landlord. He does not take her writing seriously, makes the comment that she has nothing to say, and never even feigns interest in what she is writing. But, Oscar Kolton enters the picture, and writing is suddenly a legitimate endeavor. Adam fawns all over Oscar at a dinner party, complimenting his novels, and asking about his writing choices. The double standard rears its ugly head.
The second instance is from the quote above. Eva, a published author, tries to make herself small in a corner and avoid the spotlight. There is a thought by Casey right before this that speaks to the idea that men are raised to be great, it is their life’s pursuit, while women are never a part of that world. Eva struggles with success because inwardly, as a woman, she never expected or prepared for it.
“The hardest thing about writing is getting in every day, breaking the membrane. The second hardest thing is getting out.” (81)
Balance, that is what these words scream at me. As a writer you need to establish a routine that is sustainable. Part of your daily schedule needs to include blocks of time for writing. The only way to enter a piece of writing is to start letting the thoughts flow from your mind to the paper. Once you get in a groove, it is hard to break it for life, but life happens. Currently, I have been writing for three hours. I only scheduled myself one hour, but I am having trouble stopping. That is where balance comes in. As a writer you need to find a way to continue working on your craft while still taking a shower, going to your job, playing with your children and pets, and all the other non-writing parts of life. We must feed our creative self, and be present in our daily lives.
“I have a whole stash of notes on napkins and dupes in my next drawer for my next draft.” (155)
Stay ready to write. You never know when inspiration will strike — as you wake up, in the middle of a shift, while you are at a museum, on a morning walk. Keep a notebook and pen on your bedside table, keep a small memo pad or some slips of paper in your pockets along with a mini pen or pencil, or get comfortable with notes on your phone so when the words come you can capture them.
“Don’t tell us the girl is sad. Tell us she can’t feel her fingers” (167)
Oldest one in the book...show don’t tell. Everybody is guilty of it, including me. It is far easier to write the emotion than to mine it, wring it for all its worth, and convey that in an image rather than a statement. The power of language comes when we use muscular verbs to convey emotion.
“You just need to write it out and get it over with.” (138)
Sometimes we dance around the scenes that are most pivotal to our works in progress, but cutting the wound open and letting it bleed out is the only way through. Casey and Muriel both struggle with this in the novel. For Casey, it is confronting a part of her relationship with her dad she wants to avoid. To write about would be to put it on paper that it really happened. With Muriel, it is this one scene by a lake where she just cannot bring the couple down the stairs. Often the most painful parts of us, though difficult to confront and write, build a bridge with readers. Honesty is hard to deny.
“Linger here. Let us feel this.” (174)
I read somewhere that writing needs breathing space. It needs a comfortable pause to allow the reader to stay in a moment and connect to it. It is hard to do this, to let the silence sit. We want to move on to the next moment, but if we wait, our writing profits from the pause.
“While we admire the scope...We are grateful for the look at...Your project did not strike a chord...This is not quite right for...Unfortunately, at this time we aren’t...Thank you for your submission but...We appreciate you thinking of us...We do not feel passionate enough…” (224)
Ah, the feeling of rejection. Every writer experiences this, most experience it a lot before their first piece is picked up. Some writers put in years of toughening up those outer skins with no after no, tenaciously hanging on for that magical yes. It is a part of the writer’s life. If you want to see your words in print, you must pitch, query, and submit. But, you also need to remind yourself that the value or quality of your writing does not diminish because somebody, or many somebodies, rejected it. The unicorn is out there if you can stay in the game.
“We compare other writer loves, exchanging names and bouncing in agreement and writing down the few that don’t overlap.” (235)
Writers are readers. A writer finds their birth in adoring the words of another writer. You can spot another writer when you happen into these conversations. Writers want to talk about books: books they love, books that inspired them, books that surprised them, books that changed how they thought about the world. When I meet a stranger with a book I love, I can’t resist. The synapses in my nerves light up, my heart rate quickens, the euphoria fills me, and I strike up a conversation about all the things I admire about the book and the author’s wielding of craft. These snippets of conversation remind me why I love writing, and what I hope others will find in my writing someday.
Casey has this moment later in the book as she interviews with Aisha for the teaching job. She gets lost talking about The Woodcutters by Thomas Bernhard. She forgets it is a job interview and gets lost in the world of an armchair. This moment, as well as Casey’s literary loves thus far, reveal the author behind the work. In an interview with the NYT column “By The Book,” King discussed her love of The Evening of the Holiday by Shirley Hazzard, works of Virginia Woolf, and Toni Morrison. These titles and authors can be found sprinkled throughout Writers & Lovers from the bookstore where Oscar is reading, to her memories of beloved books left with Paco, to job interviews.
“NO IDEAS BUT IN THINGS.” (311)
Words uttered originally by William Carlos Williams find voice in a Writing Festival at Casey’s school. Victor, a former coworker at Iris, the restaurant so reminiscent of Upstairs at the Pudding in Harvard Square, who also turns out to be a published poet, runs one of the workshops where participants draw floor plans of rooms, and then add significant details. “...our white-hot places of experience he calls them…”. From there the writers choose one detail to write about, “...not in sentences but in bursts of feelings…”. This is a valuable writing exercise for adding sensory detail and finding the nugget of goodness in a piece. Write big so you can write small. I always try to remember when I start writing that I am vomiting on the page, getting everything there might be to say down. Later, I will come back and find those moments that catch my breath, pull them out and expand to bring the reader to the moment, let them savor it, feel it, wish they did not have to leave that small space.
“Listen to the words...without trying to control your thoughts...then write about a moment that comes unbidden, unforced.” (313)
Writer’s block is a real thing, especially as we navigate the current pandemic. Many writers struggle with finding the words even though we have so much time. There is an anxiety, a sadness that seems constant. It is hard to drop yourself into being creative when these forces are pulling at you. Casey writes about her father cleaning her golf clubs in the kitchen sink in response to the words, “...an act of love…”. This feels paradoxical given Casey’s strained relationship with her father, but it also shows the power letting go can exert. This would make a great meditation writing exercise for those experiencing writer’s block. Record a few prompted words, dim the lights, find a comfortable position with a pen and paper close, close your eyes, play the recording, and after a couple minutes open your eyes, grab the paper and pen and write everything that comes to mind. Put it away, and later come back to see if there is some nugget of goodness to expand.
“Write down your biggest fear.” (315)
This is another exercise from the writing festival workshops. In the novel it is done as a part of improv with three players taking on the role of possessing the fear, talking someone out of the fear, and being the fear itself. Fear is a roadblock for lots of writers, “...fear of exposure, fear of weakness, fear of lack of talent, fear of looking like a fool for trying, for even thinking you could write in the first place…” (316). This could easily be an adaptable exercise for an individual. Write down what you are afraid of. Possess that fear by writing out all the ways it makes you feel. Become the fear by writing out all the ways that fear would talk to you. Respond to the fear by writing out all the reasons you should not feel afraid. It seems silly, but fear can be paralyzing. If you acknowledge and confront your writing monster, you may be able to move past and find your writer's voice again. I adored this book!
