Why You Should Add Memoir to Your Reading List
It’s 2021, and we’re all just dying to grab all the self-help books to save us from our problems, but maybe we should take a different approach. I’ve always believed that fiction can teach us all the life lessons we need to know, but recently, I opened my mind to a different genre: memoirs. I used to tell everyone that I hated memoirs. I found them to be boring or unresolved at the end, but what I realized is that I was just reading the wrong ones.
Memoirs can teach us about other people’s lives and experiences, but also can open our hearts to confronting our own life experiences. Fiction is safe. It allows the reader to dip their toes in the water, so to speak. The reader can experience the danger, the suspense, the romance, etc. without having to deal with the consequences. Memoirs aren’t fiction; they are real-life. But, memoirs have more in common with fiction than you might think. They are told in story format with a plot, include creative details, and teach a lesson. The difference is that memoirs are raw, personal moments of a real, tangible life. This unfiltered representation of a specific life-changing event in someone’s life shows vulnerability, maturity, and growth. Aren’t these the things we are hoping to find when we open those self-help books that promise to change us by the last page?
I found myself not engaged with these self-help books and fiction was almost too far away to connect to. When I began reading memoirs, it wasn’t a fictional character I felt close to, it was a human being navigating life just like me. I realized that a memoir wasn’t about having a neatly tied bow ending, but about the journey throughout the story. It was about how the person changed through the experience. There wasn’t a list of 5 ways to stop caring what people think or a fictional world that I couldn’t reach, it was the truth. Truth can be beautiful, anxiety provoking, refreshing, or downright scary, but truth is what allows us to confront the areas in our life that we are lying to ourselves in. These lies or roadblocks prevent us from being the authentic people we were designed to be. I found that memoirs were so full of truth that I couldn’t take my eyes away. I was forced to take a look inside myself and my own experiences and shortcomings with a fresh perspective.
So, what can memoirs teach us, and how do we go about choosing the ones that are right for us? Let’s start with choosing the right story. We love stories because they offer us connection; we can relate to a person, character, or situation and therefore, we feel less alone. Human beings are wired for connection, but how do we go about choosing the connections that will best serve us? Consider areas in your life that you feel lost, confused, or alone in. These are the areas that we can call your “subjects.” Narrow these subjects down to a general area. For example, let’s say you are struggling with feelings of anger or frustration towards people in your life. Ponder the reasons why you feel frustrated or angry. Is it because your needs aren’t being met? Is it because you don’t feel seen/heard? Is it because you are projecting your own insecurities? Now, research memoirs by using key words to filter the ones that confront these subjects. Chances are, someone else has experienced the same things and has chosen to write about it in order to share their newfound experiential expertise with readers going through the same thing.
I think probably by now, you could pinpoint the ways memoirs can teach us, but if you’re feeling a little lost, here’s the 3 I want to share:
Memoirs can teach us that we are not alone in our struggles
Too often, we sink into the cave of our minds and listen to the voice in our head that says we are the only ones experiencing a particular struggle and that no one has it as bad as we do. This is simply untrue. Reading about someone else’s struggle or experience in a similar area of our own struggle or experience allows us to come outside of that cave and take action in identifying where we should make changes. Plainly said, read about someone else’s life to learn how you should go about living yours.
Memoirs can teach us empathy
Our nature as humans is survival, which in this day in age, translates to selfishness. Many of us focus so much on what we know that we forget that we don’t know everything and that we aren’t the only ones with issues. Empathy is built through an understanding of another person’s situation. What better way to understand that situation than to read about it in that person’s words? Reading a memoir will increase open-mindedness, which will in turn lead to empathy.
Memoirs can teach us to look at the bigger picture through a smaller lens
This might sound strange at first. You might say, “How can you see the bigger picture if you’re looking through a small lens? Won’t you miss the details outside of that lens?” Sometimes, in order to see the bigger picture of what we are experiencing, we have to look at the specific events that led us to where we are today. Knowing ourselves and other people doesn’t just happen through one big picture summary. It happens through small moments, events, and experiences, like puzzle pieces leading to the final picture. Learning about a single time period in a life allows us to focus on how that single event produced something new in the person that made them the person they are now. When you read about stories that are similar to your own, you can see the story objectively while also relating it to your own life. This outsider perspective leads to inward reflection.
All in all, memoirs can teach us much more than these 3 things I’ve listed. Maybe, you should pick one up and see for yourself how connecting to another person’s real-life story can help you improve your own.
