Writing Advice: Marion Roach Smith’s "The Memoir Project" is Not Just for Memoirists
When my sister-in-law heard I was writing a novel based on my childhood, she suggested I read Marion Roach Smith’s The Memoir Project—A Thoroughly Non-Standardized Text for Writing & Life. While I never intended to write a memoir, I was struggling with guilt about exploring family issues that would be recognizable to our relatives. I picked up The Memoir Project at the library; now I own a copy filled with highlighted passages. This little gem of a book includes actionable steps for crafting your piece interwoven with Smith’s personal stories that illustrate concepts. While “memoir” is in the title and thesis, the process and insights are applicable to fiction as well as nonfiction.
Some writers may have picked up Smith’s book only to dismiss it after reading to page four where the author affirms that her book is free of “insulting tasks” such as writing exercises, prompts, and tips. Instead of “practicing” the craft of writing, Smith prefers that you “write for real” with intent and purpose. Time is a precious commodity, so just do it. I found this liberating, because I came to writing late and feel my creativity clock ticking. Smith does offer topics to mine for pieces such as holidays, food (especially food served at holidays), obituaries, and questions like “What do you wish you had said in that awful moment?” One could argue that all of these are in fact prompts, so keep reading.
Smith reminds us that from little details sprout great stories. The minutiae of a moment sum up deep emotions far better than hackneyed phrases attempting to cover the vastness of subjects like love and grief. To begin writing a piece, Smith suggests identifying a personal experience that taught you something and thereby illustrates a big theme. “As we live we learn, and if we write about what we learn, we share our humanity.” By making the illustration small and rare, it becomes memorable. So pack light. As I write these words, my heart swells recalling the best Valentine’s Day gift I ever received—a partially eaten cookie. My daughter frosted the heart-shaped cookie in her Kindergarten class and only ate half so she could give me the rest. The restraint of a five-year-old in not eating her whole treat, the careful way she wrapped it in a paper napkin, and her satisfied, sneaky smile when presenting me with a gift she knew I would like speaks volumes about her love and generosity that the words “I love you” alone can’t begin to convey.
Smith offers a simple formula to help writers create a story pitch, which every paragraph must support: “It is about x as illustrated by y to be told in a z.” The x is what the piece is about, what you are arguing. The y is something you experienced and learned from. The z is the medium—memoir, op-ed, blog-post, etc. Her example: “It is about how love prevails (the x) as illustrated by the moment my adopted daughter was first laid in my arms in China (y), to be told in an essay (z).” In this framing the theme, rather than the author, is the story. The author is the illustration. Focusing on the little moments also relieves the pressure of writing The Ultimate Story of Motherly Love or some such overwhelming task.
My favorite lessons of the slim 132-page book are found on the last seven pages in the section on editing. I have used this process and applied it to fiction as well as personal essays. The first step is indexing. “Print out your draft and write in the margin what each paragraph does.” Maybe your paragraph “introduces Louis”—that’s good. This exercise enables you to see if the points of the argument support and lead to the conclusion. You will also discover places where you have repeated the same fact or idea. In such cases, you may need to combine two paragraphs into one concise paragraph. Some paragraphs stray off topic and should be cut. Smith suggests saving these cuts to use as fodder for another project.
Next, search for every sentence beginning with the word “I” since “all those “I”s make readers nervous.” Rewrite at least two-thirds of them to begin with an action. After completing this task, circle every set of nouns and their adjectives. Scrutinize these to ensure that you have chosen the right word, as Mark Twain reminded us, “The difference between a word and the ‘right’ word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug.”
For the next editing round, search for unnecessarily long sentences. Ask yourself, “Is there a shorter way to say this? A cleaner, more precise way?” Trim the excess fat and boil down to the essence, checking back with your original pitch to ensure that you did what you promised to do with the piece.
When you have refined the piece through all these steps, the final task is to read it aloud. As a theater dramaturg and librettist, I have always done this and find it helpful for catching awkward bits or unintentional departures from the voice and tone. Plus, it’s a must for any dialogue in a story.
If you are writing a memoir or personal essay and struggle like I did with guilt about exposing family secrets, Smith says that “truth is the best defense, and you are telling the truth, your version of it.” Make a phrase such as “this is the way I remember it” or “in my version of the tale” your mantra. And if you’re writing about someone who is deceased, Smith quips “legally you can’t libel the dead.” So keep writing.
Learn more about Marion Roach Smith’s process and purchase her book here.
