You Applied and Got Rejected… Now What?
“I really thought I was going to get in…” I said out loud to myself after I read the email. The email was from one of my writing mentors, informing me that my application to attend a week-long retreat with her and some other writers had been rejected.
I sat and stared at my computer screen for at least a few minutes in disbelief. I really thought I was going to get in. I spent the first few days after receiving the news combing through my draft of the application and honestly couldn’t find the flaws. My application appeared to be steller and I had invested several hours selecting which poems I submitted with the application, and even asked my best friend to proofread my application essay before I applied. I was so confident when I clicked that ‘Apply’ button. I had already started looking at plane tickets and thinking about who I might like to bunk with.
So, when that rejection letter came, it stung.
What stung more was when my other friends started posting that they had been accepted into the retreat. Over the course of the next week, I went through some pretty dark emotions… jealousy, sadness, resentment, confusion, envy, shame, worthlessness, and even a bit of anger.
The only way I know how to make it through big emotions is to write about them. Putting pen to paper is not only one of my favorite forms of art, but is also my therapist, my muse, my coping mechanism, and an act of service. How could I transform these dark emotions into something useful? How could I transmute my jealousy and confusion into gratitude and pride?
I decided to make a poem out of it.
Literally.
I turned the rejection letter that was sitting there on my screen into a poem.
I shared this erasure poem with a few of my friends in the poet world, as well as my mentor from the retreat, and received very open-hearted feedback. Since then, I have turned every single rejection letter I’ve received into a poem… which is a lot because I have a goal of receiving 100 rejections in 2022!
This is an idea I got from Megan Falley in her online course Poems That Don’t Suck. In the course, Megan showed us her own Submittable app, where she receives all her rejection letters. She says the only way to get your work published, is to learn to accept rejection.
Accepting rejection… sounds a bit contradictory, right? But here’s the thing: every artist that you love has been rejected. All of your favourite authors have been rejected. Every poet that has ever been published has likely also been rejected multiple times. We must accept that to live a big, bold, brave life as an artist, we will be rejected.
This all sounds good and fine until you get your first rejection. Rejection isn’t fun… it can evoke feelings of unworthiness, shame, and fear, and it can also dredge up old traumas (like being bullied on the schoolyard or the time I asked a boy out and he pushed me into a locker.) There’s a reason why so many writers never submit their work… because rejection is HARD.
However, making a poem from your rejection letters makes it all feel a little softer.
Since I started this process, I’ve made a whole collection of erasure poems and while I don’t look forward to a rejection letter (I’m not that evolved!) it does enable me to appreciate each and every one. Every rejection is a chance to reflect and make more art.
Here are some other things I’ve found helpful during my journey to get 100 rejections:
Share your rejections. Find an online space or a community that will not only embrace your rejections but will continue to cheer you on as you get right back up and submit again!
Share your wins! This is equally important and makes it easier to celebrate others when they share their wins/acceptance letters… you’ll know how it feels to be encouraged and will want to return the favor.
Treat yourself. Every time I submit something on time, I treat myself. For me, this might mean savoring a nice piece of dark chocolate, or I’ll buy a crystal I’ve been eyeing, but I make sure I treat myself whether I’ve been accepted or not because putting yourself out there is always a brave choice!
And lastly, remember… Rejection Letter = Reflection Letter! Try to remember what you’ve learned through the process and allow yourself to feel those dark emotions if they come up… and then move on and make more art. The world needs your art.
