I’ve wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. And, for as long as I can remember, I have kept that dream to myself.

I was ten or eleven when the habit first started. I would work on my novels in secret, hunched over the family computer after everyone else had gone to bed. I hoarded my Word documents in a hidden folder, as if they were dirty pictures rather than stories about dragons and pirates.

As I got older, writing became my private escape. I filled journals and stashed them under my bed; I password-protected my laptop. Through high school and even into college, I would spend hours locked in my room, typing away, immersed in my own world. When anyone asked me what I was up to, I would lie. It was like having a secret affair. I told my friends I was studying so often, I can only imagine what they thought I was really hiding.

To me, the ugly truth about writing was that if you want to become a writer, other people have to read what you have written. For most of my life, the very idea of sharing my writing was the worst torment I could imagine.

Why is it that writers feel the need to keep their work private? What is it about words on a page, as opposed to a painting or a photograph, that feels so intimate and personal?

When I finally pushed through the embarrassment and decided to pursue a career as a writer, I was in for a nasty shock. Everything I thought I knew about writing and publishing could not have been more wrong. As it turns out, the ugly truth about becoming a published writer isn’t just that you have to share your writing—it’s that getting your writing published is really, really hard. A secret talent is hardly enough to get your foot in the door; it takes work, it takes connections, and it takes years.

I also found a much more pleasant surprise: I wasn’t on this journey alone. As I dug deeper into the world of agents and publishers, freelancers and bloggers, I discovered a vast network of writers just like myself. I learned terms like manuscript, imprint, and query letter. I found writers sharing their pitches and drafts and exchanging feedback. Above all else, I found excitement and enthusiasm for the rocky road we are all trying to navigate together.

A recent NPR article about the art of writing a book put it succinctly: “No matter how romantic it seems, you're not up in the garret by candlelight, scribbling away, alone in your genius.” It’s true that writing a book can feel aesthetically lonesome. I think writers are, by nature, romantic people. We all want to believe we are tortured geniuses, working on the next great American novel. The reality is, even if your writing is great, it will never become a published novel (or memoir, or article, or book of poetry) by candlelight. You have to use your resources, and you have to rely on the expertise of other people in the field, whether you like it or not.

That said, you shouldn’t have to pay for the help you need. One of the biggest dangers of writers going it alone is that they can easily fall into the trap of paying for publication or exposure. While I am all for attending writing conferences and taking classes, I can’t stress enough that writing does not, and should not, have to be a “pay to play” industry. A scammy publisher that charges reading fees just to consider your work is not the way to go. Do your research—there are some amazing free resources out there to help you improve your writing, get an agent, self publish, or whatever it is you need to find success.

If I could offer one piece of advice to aspiring writers (myself included), it would be to get out there and meet other writers. You don’t have to pay to go to conferences; you don’t even have to leave home. There are so many great writing communities online that you can join for free. Share your manuscript, share your query letter, share your poetry and prose. Chat with others about the craft. Find out what works for them, and share what works for you. We are all struggling with this same frustrating, at times impossible industry, and we are all looking for help.

I don’t know why writers feel the need to be so mysterious and private. I think many of us are anxious about rejection. We’re worried about putting our words out there just to have them shot down or ridiculed. We’re worried we’re not good enough.

At least, that’s the way I felt for most of my life. I’m still working through the queasiness of sharing my writing with the world, but the more I learn about the writing community, the better I feel. I have never met a more positive, encouraging, and supportive group of people than other writers. Especially in these times, when everything feels so uncertain and we’re all nursing our creativity from home, there is nothing more important than connecting with the people who understand you.

Whether you’re seeking traditional publishing, self-publishing, or submitting to magazines and publications, the industry is tough. But believe me—it’s a whole lot tougher when you try to go it alone. So unlock your doors, writers, and come down from your candlelit garrets. We’re all in this together.

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